What Should I Do If My Partner Has an STD and Doesn't Want to Tell Me About It?

The most beneficial thing you can do is to listen to your partner's worries and anxieties and provide them with information about the STD. Give your partner time to process the information. Someone who says they were waiting for the right time may be telling you the truth. Informing someone that you have an STI is a difficult task.

If you or your partner has a sexually transmitted disease that doesn't always have visible symptoms, such as HPV, chlamydia, gonorrhea, or herpes, it's even more important to get tested regularly and to contact your partner. Speak to your doctor about what tests you need and how often you should have them. The most helpful thing you can do is to listen to your partner's concerns and fears and to offer information about the STD, your symptoms and your treatment. If you think you have an STD or have questions about STDs, talk to a doctor, sexual health clinic, or student health center. In addition to determining if either of you currently has an STD, you'll also want to consider what type of birth control method you'll use and if either of you has sex with other people, which will affect how often each of you should be tested for STDs.

Before talking to your partner, talk to your doctor about getting tested for STDs to learn about your health status and risks. If you approach the conversation with openness and a relaxed attitude, you'll reduce any tension you and your partner may feel when discussing sexual health. You can get tested and treated at the local health department's STD clinic, family planning clinic, student health center, or urgent care clinic. You or your partner may have contracted the STD in a previous relationship without even knowing it. Even if you don't know exactly how to do it, talking about STDs doesn't have to be a source of anxiety for you or your partner.

You or your partner may have had the STD in a previous relationship without even knowing it. One way to start is to talk about the most recent STD test and ask if your partner has had one recently, suggests Planned Parenthood. They are so focused on getting treatment and moving on that they don't tell their partners about getting tested and receiving treatment. And once you know your status, don't stop talking about STDs; it's best to have this conversation before having sex with a partner, says Julia Bennett, MPH, director of learning strategies for education at the United States Planned Parenthood Federation. It's important to remember that talking about STDs doesn't have to be uncomfortable or awkward. With open communication and understanding, both partners can feel comfortable discussing their sexual health.

If either of you has an STD, it's important that both of you get tested and treated as soon as possible.